I am torn between the desire to vanish into a life where I am ‘me’ but as a person who writes for a living there is also this desire to be read and heard.
I am a LinkedIn ghostwriter and am paid to feed the machine I despise.
Umm despise would be a strong word, I do like the work – working with founders, listening to their journey, shaping it and ‘telling their story’.
But, I also think all this ‘though leadership’ is mostly noise – people enforcing on each each other that they are ‘great at what they do’.
I had a long discussion with my logical partner – Gemini and have come to a conclusion that I will be a “double agent”.
Sounds cool, right?
The meaning is very simple, I am gonna treat it as a ‘job’. I am a mechanic fixing a car, and for that I don’t have to love the car.
Just do the work, take the money and use that money to fund my escape.
The most important things is to – Not let your identity fuse with the job title and this is one problem I have faced a lot.
And I feel, this is faced by most of us.
We let our work define us , what we do becomes our whole identity. And people working in marketing, writing or “creative” field (as they like to say it) are more prone to it.
Even after work our mind keeps going back to the ‘things we can do’ or ‘scraping ideas for the next post’.
Now, when I write this I feel how often I do this, every time I am opening my laptop, I am looking for ideas, inspiration for the ‘next post’.
If you do it for your own thing, that might inspire you but if you are doing this for a “job” that pays you monthly, I don’t think it is worth it.
So, as a double agent, I have to:
– treat work that pays money as “work” only
– and follow the law of production vs consumption for myself.
I can be a producer of content – posts, videos etc but not a consumer – so no doomscrolling, no spending hours on reddit.
(I have already deactivated Instagram, it’s been around 1.5 months or more I guess, I don’t even remember now)
Replace these social media with better things like – Refind, Medium or Fluent Reader with all the rss you have subscribed to.
I am working on it day by day and really loving the articles I read these days!
And to enforce better retention, I am writing what I loved here as well – raw & real.
-Rohit
