During my recent trek, I often found myself talking about the past events of our lives in a good way –
“How good the college days were?”
“Remember, how we used to live in that East-Delhi room?”
Or in a regretful way –
“I wasted 2025 – what the hell I did all year at home? There is no significant output, I am the same I was in 2024, 23 or as long as I can remember”
It is either this or we talk about the future – stressed –
I need to do this, earn more money, will be going there once I have saved enough money etc.
But, we almost NEVER talk about the “now”!
What are we doing right now? Are we having fun or not?
I remember during during our Birthday weekend trip to Mukteshwar, we decided to talk about the “now”.
So, the plan was that each one of us (total 7) will say one or two things about the rest of the people and it was very new I would say, because we had never talked about it.
Guys, usually avoid these kind of talks, as you know… emotionally unavailable as women call it!
So, why was it so awkward?
Because discussing the “now” requires vulnerability.
To look at your friend across the bonfire and talk about how you feel right this second, or to observe the silence between you, creates tension & awkwardness.
So, you default to “remember when.”
And also because, we are so addicted to narratives!
The past has a story (beginning, middle, end).
The future has a fantasy.
The present? The present is just raw data – sensations, sounds, raw-connection!
And, it feels so “flat” to a dopamine-addicted brain because it isn’t used to it!
But learning to sit with the ‘boring’ present is necessary to cure that numbness.
You have to retrain your brain to find satisfaction in the quiet moments, rather than needing constant entertainment to feel alive.
p.s: When was the last time you were really living the “present”?
